How To Get Over The Networking Ick

If networking gives you the ick, don’t worry you are not alone. It gives most of us the ick.. the ones seeking and the ones sought after.

However, I don’t need to be the first one to tell you that it is a necessary endeavor to grow your career and business. I look at it like exercising. You know you have to do it, you don’t want to, but you feel better after having done it.

People want to network for a variety of reasons. When they need a job, a mentor, new business opportunities or even when they are looking to buy a home.

What most people get wrong is that they only start to ‘network’ when they need something.

That is the least optimal time to network. Networking is all about building relationships over time.

I read an article on LinkedIn recently about networking by Andrew Seaman where he shared a message not talked about enough when it comes to networking.

Networking is a long game.

It is most effective once you have built a real connection with someone over a period of time.

A real connection is built when people are not forced into building a connection, (aka cold DM on LinkedIn) or to give you a referral or recommendation.

Us humans are innately repulsed when forced to do anything. Networking works the same way.

I started ‘networking’ as I was advised to during my MBA (by our career counselor) when I started over in my career 12 years ago (from Counseling to Marketing).

I was once a networking newbie, and it certainly gave me the ick. After being in the corporate game for over a decade, and intentionally building and nurturing my network, it is something I genuinely enjoy doing.

Here is what you can do to help you get over the ick and network more effectively.

It’s about ‘Getting Started’ and Not About Being ‘Perfect’

Networking effectively is less about having a perfect elevator pitch and more about just getting started. You need to get out of networking newbie mode to becoming networking curious. Treat it like an activity you are starting to discover and take the pressure off! Remove the goals and outcomes from your mind. Of course, networking has a purpose but viewing it like a job will make going through the motions more uncomfortable. If you have cold feet about DMs on LinkedIn, then skip those. Ask a friend for an introduction on email and go from there.

Embrace Casual Conversations at Work

Yes, I mean your workplace. If you have the ick about networking with people outside of your immediate network, or you have a small network, then start getting your feet wet inside your own workplace. I am a huge believer in building relationships inside the company you work at. If someone asks you ‘how was your weekend?’ Then, take that opportunity to have a casual conversation instead of glazing over it. Get comfortable with having conversations with people that are not in your inner circle. Some of the most valuable relationships in my career have stemmed from casual conversations I had with my peers at work that eventually led to introductions to people I would have never met otherwise.

Make it More About Giving, Than Receiving

Contrary to popular opinion, networking is NOT about you reaching out to a senior leader (that barely knows you) and asking them to refer you to a job you just saw posted at their company. This actually happened to me many.. many times. Ick. Networking is not a one-way street. When you connect with someone, think about how you can be a resource for them without making a direct ask of them in your first meeting. Offer to share an article you think they would find helpful or connect them with someone in your network! You can make your ask once you have established trust over time and they feel comfortable vouching for you.

Find Your Tribe, Not Just a Job

Networking is not the same thing as adding more connections on LinkedIn. It is about building meaningful connections with people who inspire you and who will mention your name for opportunities when they arise. Seek out niche communities (hello The Tribe!), industry-specific groups, or attend events focused on your interests. You will meet like-minded people who can become mentors, collaborators, or even your sponsors as you navigate your corporate career.

1. BOOK A COACHING SESSION WITH ME HERE

2. GET MY 1-HOUR PREP INTERVIEW GUIDE WITH TOP 10 INTERVIEW QUESTIONS & SAMPLE ANSWERS!

“There’s no such thing as perfect. Chasing ‘perfect’ is the shortest road to not achieving it.”

Gary Vaynerchuk

If you found The Tribe newsletter helpful, share it with a friend!

Forwarded this email? Subscribe to The Executiv HERE!