3 Signs That Your Environment is Keeping You Small

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A shark in a fish tank will grow 8 inches. In the ocean, that same shark can grow over 8 feet.

Your environment impacts your growth.

I have watched women we support at Executiv go from nervous and shy about what they bring to the table to super confident within months of being in the right environment. The right environment being plugged into the Executiv Network of super awesome female executives, that is.

From questioning everything during soul crushing layoffs to bouncing back and realizing they've been playing too small all along.

The truth is many of us don't have a talent problem. It's that our talented side went into hibernation as a result of being surrounded by naysayers and doubters and those who simply don't see our potential.

Here are three signs your environment may be robbing you of your potential:

1. You're the most ambitious person in every room you're in.

You earn the average of the five people you're surrounded by. The first time I heard this, my mind was absolutely blown. What? Is this true? Then I did some math, and lo and behold. It was true.

So what if you aren't exactly in the peer circle of those with the roles you want to have or earning what your goal is? What then?

You won't be able to talk about your goals openly.

Your goals end up in the trunk of your car and stay there. Unless you're one of those people who happen to have a large network of peers with similar goals, ambitions, and earnings, this is likely your case.

I know in my case, that was true for many years. I had big hairy audacious career goals according to some. I wanted to be a CMO and then CEO of a large enterprise organization. That was my goal at the time. It wasn't something I could openly discuss with anyone, not even some of my managers.

So, that one super important goal didn't get discussed as much as it needed to.

I noticed the same thing when I became a founder. Other than my direct team or my coach, I couldn't talk about our two, three, or five-year goals with anyone. I would literally sound bonkers to anyone outside of founder land if I mentioned what I am trying to build.

Then, recently I found myself in a room of founders at various stages of growth and company revenue. I shared my goals without fear of judgement, and suddenly heard a bunch of people talk about seven, eight, nine figures, and our annual target didn't seem crazy anymore.

It seemed normal, and most importantly achievable.

This is what scientists call social comparison theory. We calibrate our own ambition against the people around us. Surround yourself with people reaching higher, and your bar rises with them.

2. Your ideas are constantly minimized or ignored.

Have you ever worked at a company where you just knew the business had so much potential, but due to poor management at the very top, it was dying a slow death no one was paying attention to? I know, I have.

Many businesses operate a certain way for years and think they have unshakeable dominance. Yet, they get disrupted and lose half their market value within years. We have all lived through the demise of these companies.

You may be a very talented person working at this company who has great ideas about new processes, new products, new markets, or even people plans that could unlock growth for the business. But all your ideas fall on deaf ears.

Or someone new joins your leadership team, has an outsiders perspective, and keeps bringing fresh ideas to improve the business. But nothing changes.

In almost all of these cases, people ultimately stop trying.

All the "Nos" prune away their confidence. Eventually it prunes away their willingness to even try.

The wrong environment will not hear you no matter how loud you scream.

Don't get me wrong. I am all for being able to "sell in" ideas and learning to influence senior stakeholders, but in these environments, no amount of selling in will change the culture or the impact this has on you.

3. You've stopped imagining a bigger future for yourself.

This is the absolute worst.

I learned a concept called learned helplessness during my undergraduate studies in Psychology, and I have watched it play out for years in the corporate world.

Talented leaders who got stuck in a certain role ultimately settled because year after year they were told "next year," and nothing changed. No promotion. No bigger scope. No new projects. They settled for “good enough”.

They didn't stop because of a lack of ambition, but because they'd learned that asking didn't change the outcome.

When your environment teaches you that nothing changes no matter what you do, your imagination for a bigger future shrinks to match it.

Growth isn't always about becoming smarter, faster, or working harder.

Sometimes it's about changing the ocean you're swimming in.

At Executiv, I see this change in our members every single week. It is the most beautiful part about the work we do.

You join, unsure about how to find your confidence, your voice, your place, or if you have what it takes to reach for your career goals or thrive in the role you’re in.

Then you learn very quickly, by being surrounded by hundreds of ambitious, accomplished peers who challenge you to think bigger, chase your goals loud and proud, and accelerate what's possible for you.

You see your peers achieve it and it becomes real.

You too become delusionally confident. Why not me?

Why not you? 😉 

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“People think being alone makes you lonely, but I don’t think that’s true. Being surrounded by the wrong people is the loneliest thing in the world..”

Kim Culbertson